Movie Toasts

Juno Drinking Game

2008-04-18T22:45:00.000-07:00

First off: take a shot during the Rainn Wilson scene, and take heart: the movie will get better.

Take a drink whenever...

There's a pop-culture reference. Any pop-culture reference. (Take two if one particularly annoys you. For example, I really, really hate when Olivia Thirlby says "Honest to blog.")

Anyone calls anybody by a nickname - "Junebug," "Bleek," etc. (Take two if Juno says a nickname for herself.)

You see the track team.

Someone touches Juno's (Ellen Page) stomach.

She talks on her hamburger phone.

Juno refers to sex with Bleeker (Michael Cera) being really good.

Anyone says:

"Sexually active"
"Pregnant"
"Wizard"

You see Bleeker with Tic-Tacs.

The relationship between Mark (Jason Bateman) and Juno feels particularly uncomfortable.

Vanessa (Jennifer Garner) smiles radiantly.

An indie/folky song comes on the soundtrack.

Chug/take a shot whenever...

Juno's little sister has a line.

Lions for Lambs Drinking Game

2008-04-18T22:36:00.000-07:00

Take a drink whenever...

There's a shot of what time it is. Take two if it's because someone's checking.

Someone makes a political argument that you remember hearing at least three years ago.

The film cuts to a different location.

Anyone says a line you think is from the trailer.

Tom Cruise grins. Take two if it's because he's obviously hiding something.

Robert Redford tells his student he's being apathetic.

Anyone besides Robert Redford, his student, the two soldiers, Meryl Streep, and Tom Cruise has a line.

Anyone takes a drink.

24 Drinking Game

2008-04-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

So this one doesn't get back on the air for a while, but it's just way too easy to come up with a drinking game for me to resist. It practically writes itself. By the way, I'm sure there are other versions of this floating around, but I didn't want to be influenced by any, so I haven't looked.

Take a drink whenever...

Someone says what time it is, or how much time until something happens, or when they should meet up, etc.

Jack makes a phone call.

Jack goes against direct orders. Drink again if he gets Chloe to help him.

Someone says:

"Dammit"
"President"
"Jack Bauer" (the full name)
"Chloe"

Someone fires a gun.

The screen splits. Drink for each new scene that appears - so if the screen splits to incorporate four different scenes happening at once, you should've drank three times.

A bad guy is introduced, or we find out someone is actually a bad guy.

The weaselly guy (there's always a weaselly guy) acts weaselly.

Seasons 1-3 only: drink whenever Kim (Elisha Cuthbert) is in danger.

Chug/Take a shot whenever...

An important character dies. Take an additional drink if Jack killed them.

It seems like the plot should resolve easily, but you know something has to go terribly wrong since the day isn't finished yet.

Almost Famous Drinking Game

2008-03-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

Another one of the best movies of all time. It also turns out to be perfect fodder for a drinking game - I thought of a ton of good rules.

Take a drink whenever...

A real-life band or singer is mentioned.

Anyone calls William (Patrick Fugit) "The Enemy."

William tries to interview Russell (Billy Crudup).

Jeff (Jason Lee) acts jealous of/annoyed by Russell.

Anyone snaps a photograph.

Anyone answers the phone.

They arrive in a new city (it'll be written on the bottom of the screen).

Anyone says "Band-Aid," "Crazy," or "Purple."

Anyone says "Rolling Stone." Drink twice if they fully say "Rolling Stone Magazine". (Yes, "Rolling Stone Fucking Magazine" still counts.)

You see the drummer holding his drum sticks.

A strap falls off Penny Lane's (Kate Hudson) shoulder.

A girl is shown with no pants on. (In the "deflowering" scene, one for each girl.)

William talks on the phone with Lester Bangs (Philip Seymour Hoffman).

Chug/Take a shot whenever...

An Elton John song comes on.

Stillwater performs.

The Princess Bride Drinking Game

2008-03-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

This is quite possibly the best movie of all time.

Take a drink whenever...

Anyone says "As you wish" or "True love."

Vizzini says "Inconceivable!"

Inigo says, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

You catch yourself quoting the movie.

Fred Savage interrupts the story.

You actually see the king. (Not Prince Humperdinck. The old guy.)

It's shown that Westley has no control of his limbs.

Anybody references Andre the Giant's size/imposing figure.

Special Rule:

When Westley has the three battles (with Inigo, Andre, and Vizzini), drink once for the first, twice for the second, and chug for the third. Do this again when Westley and Buttercup go through the three trials of the swamp (fire traps, sand pits, and R.O.U.S.es).

Chug/take a shot...

Whenever anyone dies (for real). For celebratory purposes, you might consider doing it twice if the death is preceded by "...you son of a bitch!"

The Faculty Drinking Game

2008-03-24T16:57:00.000-07:00

This mostly-forgotten 1998 horror / action / comedy flick got overshadowed by the Screams of its day, which is too bad, because it's a hell of a lot of fun. Think The Breakfast Club meets Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Oh, and did I mention it's directed by Robert Rodriguez of Sin City?

Take a drink whenever...

Anyone mentions a specific movie or celebrity.

Anyone snorts the pen powder up their nose.

The Boyfriend and the Girlfriend (Jon Abrahams and Summer Phoenix) fight.

A faculty member drinks water.

Coach Willis (Robert Patrick) swears.

There's a reference to Stokely (Clea DuVall) being a lesbian.

Usher has a line. Actually, make that whenever you see Usher.

The teenagers kill a teacher.

A relatively famous actor appears who you had no idea was in this movie prior to reading this. Including but not limited to Jon Stewart, Salma Hayek, and Frodo.

Chug/Take a shot whenever...

They use that special effect on somebody's face which makes it look like they have claws inside their cheeks:

Southland Tales Drinking Game

2008-03-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

Special Rule: At any point in the film, any of you can point at a character on the screen and ask a friend: "What's that character's name?" If your friend doesn't know, he or she has to drink. You don't have to know the character's name to ask the question.

Take a drink...

Whenever Justin Timberlake has a voice over.

Whenever Dwayne Johnson twiddles his fingers together.

Whenever anyone says, "Pimps don't commit suicide."

Whenever anyone says "Roland" or "Ronald."

Whenever you hear or see the name of some shadowy company / corporation / invention / whatever: USIDent, Fluid Karma, the Mega-Zeppelin, etc.

Whenever Sarah Michelle Gellar drops the F-bomb.

Whenever anyone who also appeared in Donnie Darko has a line.

Whenever Seann William Scott's hand starts glowing.

Whenever Mandy Moore's eyes widen.

Whenever someone quotes the Bible.

Whenever a vehicle hits something.

If you're really trying to drink a lot: whenever you're not sure what the hell is going on.

Chug/Take a shot...

Whenever a current or former SNL cast member appears. (If I counted right, there's four, unless you want to drink an extra in honor of Janeane Garofalo, whose role was cut in the editing room.)

When you realize that dude in the makeup is Kevin Smith.

(released on DVD: March 18, 2008)

Massive Lost Drinking Game

2008-03-19T14:24:00.001-07:00

This is the biggest drinking game I've done so far, partly because it's so easy and mostly because Lost is a badass show. I'm sure I could've come up with plenty more rules but any more felt like overkill; if you think of a good one that's not on here, feel free to add it to the comments. I also didn't bother giving any rules special "Chug/Take a shot" status because I figure you'll already be drinking quite enough - but of course feel free to upgrade any of the less-used rules to that level if you wish. Lastly, I should add that four or five of these rules I cribbed from here.

Universal Rules:

Take a drink...

Whenever any of The Numbers are mentioned or appear (4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42).

Whenever anyone says "Others," "Dharma," "Widmore," "Hanso," "Hatch," “Driveshaft,” or "Oceanic.”

Whenever anyone stares out at the ocean.

Every time you hear whispers in the woods, or hear the various noises the smoke monster makes. Drink twice if you see the monster.

Whenever two character get into a brawl.

Whenever there's that "whoooshing" sound right before a flashback or flash-forward.

Whenever you correctly shouts "flashback" just before one starts.

Whenever a character appears in another character’s flashback.

Whenever one of the Oceanic 815 extras has a line. That includes Scott and Steve.

Whenever anyone cries.

Whenever it starts raining.

Whenever anyone embarks on a journey into the jungle.

Whenever someone dead re-appears (in flashbacks, dreams, as a ghost, or what have you).

Whenever someone dies.

Whenever there’s a close-up of an eyeball.

Character-Specific Rules:

Take a drink...

Whenever Jack calls another character by name. Drink twice if it’s Kate.

Whenever Sawyer calls anyone a nickname or makes a pop culture reference.

Whenever Sawyer reads a book.

Whenever Kate holds a gun.

Whenever Jin says something in English.

Whenever Sun lies.

Whenever Claire says “My baby” or “Aaron.”

Whenever Sayid does something ridiculously awesome or conveys more common sense than anyone else.

Whenever the camera shows Sayid’s awkwardly long fingernails.

Whenever Charlie gets angry.

Whenever Hurley says “Dude.” Drink twice if he says “I’m not crazy.”

Whenever Desmond says “brotha”.

Whenever someone hits Ben/Henry Gale.

Whenever Juliet gives one of those infuriating looks of pitying/condescension.

Season-Specific Rules:

Take a drink...

In Season 1:

Whenever it’s revealed why someone was on the plane.

Whenever two main characters meet for the first time.

Whenever Sawyer has the letter in his hands.

Whenever Locke explains something to Boone.

In Season 2:

Whenever Michael says "I'm gonna get my boy/son back," "They took my son!," or "WAAALT!!" (So basically, whenever Michael has a line.)

Whenever they input the numbers into the computer.

Whenever Ana-Lucia acts like a massive turd.

Whenever Mr. Eko tells a story. Drink twice if it's a biblical story.

In Season 3:

Whenever Desmond talks about Charlie dying or has a vision of him dying.

Whenever an Other besides Ben or Juliet has a line.

In Season 4:

Whenever Faraday acts nuts.

Whenever one of the Oceanic 6 is revealed.

Whenever we're introduced to someone on the freighter.

Whenever Locke acts like a terrible leader.

I Am Legend Drinking Game

2008-03-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

Take a drink...

Whenever you see an animal besides a dog.

Whenever you see the main Mutant / Vampire / Zombie dude.

Whenever Will Smith talks to a manakin.

Whenever Will Smith acts like he's losing his mind in general. (Feel free to debate what that entails, but as always, when in doubt, drink.)

Whenever Will Smith aims his badass gun at anything.

Whenever Will Smith has his lab coat on.

Whenever Will Smith's watch beeps.

Chug...

Starting when Will Smith starts quoting Shrek, and don't quit until he stops.

Special Rule:

When Will Smith gets caught in the trap, get into an argument about whether (A) the mutants set the trap from his example or (B) he set the trap himself and forgot about it. Whoever wins the argument, take a shot; whoever loses the argument, take two shots. If you're all in agreement or nobody wins, you all take a shot.

August Rush Drinking Game

2008-03-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

Take a drink...

Whenever something wildly improbable happens.

Whenever Freddie Highmore has a voice-over.

Whenever the story blatantly rips off Oliver Twist.

Whenever anyone says "August Rush" or "music".

Whenever a song is played in the action of the film (not just on the soundtrack).

Whenever it annoys you that Freddie Highmore's not holding the guitar right and will probably break a string, seriously dude.

Whenever there's a scene in an NYC park.

Take a shot/chug...

Whenever two characters that are related talk to each other.

Eastern Promises Drinking Game

2008-03-07T23:11:00.000-08:00

Take a drink...

Every time you see blood. Take two if it's because someone's throat is being slit.

Every time someone says "diary."

Whenever there's a nice shot of Naomi Watt's butt.

Every time there's a hint that Vincent Cassel is gay.

Every time Watts's uncle says something rude.

Every time you or your friends makes a comment about how surprisingly badass Viggo Mortensen is.

Every time Armin Mueller-Stahl says something quietly menacing.

Whenever Naomi Watts acts way more naive than any semi-intelligent human being would act.

Every time there's a reference to Watts losing her baby.

Every time it rains.

Take two shots...

At the beginning of the naked knife fight. During that sequence, every time you see Viggo Mortensen's package, take a drink.

Friday Night Lights Drinking Game

2008-03-07T22:48:00.000-08:00

Take a drink...

Whenever anyone says: "Y'all," "Texas," "QB1," or "Panther Football."

Every time Coach Taylor has a wise talk with one of his players.

Every time Coach Taylor fails miserably at talking to Julie.

Whenever Tim Riggins smiles.

Whenever a comment is made about how hot Riggins or Tyra is.

Whenever Riggins refers to a teammate by his jersey number.

Whenever Lyla refers in any way to Christianity.

Whenever Tyra says "well."

Whenever Smash refers to himself in third person.

Whenever Tami smiles at someone she's not actually that happy to see.

Any time Santiago has a line. (If you're watching the first season, do Mac Macgill instead.)

Whenever Jason Street talks about the possibility of walking again, or whenever someone tells him it's not going to happen.

First season: drink any time Landry talks to anyone besides Saracen. Second season: any time Landry talks to Saracen.

Whenever Julie acts like a massive brat.

Chug a beer/take a shot...

Whenever they say "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!" Drink double if Coach Taylor isn't the one to say "Clear eyes, full hearts."

Every time you actually see them playing a football game.

Whenever Saracen tells Smash or Landry to "shut uuuup" or tells Landry he's retarded.

Whenever we actually see Julie's friend Pam.

No Country for Old Men Drinking Game

2008-03-07T22:36:00.000-08:00

Take a drink...

Whenever anyone says "Llewelyn." Take two drinks if it's Llewelyn's wife (Kelly Macdonald).

Whenever Chigurh (Javier Bardem) uses the compressed air to kill someone.

Whenever Javier Bardem flips a coin.

Every time Woody Harrelson touches his hat.

Whenever someone says "You don't have to do this."

Whenever Tommy Lee Jones teaches his partner something.

Whenever there's been no dialogue for thirty seconds.

Chug a beer/take a shot...

Whenever Javier Bardem says "Friendo."

When Javier Bardem kills Milton from Office Space.

Into the Wild Drinking Game

2008-03-05T22:44:00.001-08:00

Take a drink...

Whenever Emile Hirsch says "wild," "north," or "Alaska."

Every time Jena Malone begins a narration.

Every time Emile Hirsch writes something.

Whenever Vince Vaughn acts too much like Vince Vaughn. (When in doubt, drink.)

Whenever it's mentioned what town or state the characters are in.

Whenever Hirsch's character leaves someone who cares about him. (For Hal Holbrook, chug for ten seconds, because if you don't you'll be sobbing.)

Aside from the above, every other time you want to slap Hirsch's character for being an idiot. (Including but not limited to the scene in which he turns down pants-less Kristen Stewart.)

Chug a beer/take a shot...

Every time a new "chapter" starts (it'll say it on the screen).

When you see Emile Hirsch's penis.

Dan in Real Life Drinking Game

2008-03-05T22:38:00.000-08:00

Take a drink...

Every time Steve Carell dances. (Exercising counts.)

Every time Carell gets pulled over.

Every time the soundtrack blatantly echoes what's happening in the movie.

Whenever the family begins another structured activity (examples: crossword puzzle contest, touch football, talent show, etc.).

Whenever you catch Dane Cook mugging.

Whenever Carell's annoying-as-hell middle daughter says something bratty.

Take a shot/chug a beer...

Whenever Steve Carell mentions the possibility of syndication.

During the "Let My Love Open the Door" scene.

Across the Universe Drinking Game

2008-03-05T22:26:00.000-08:00

Drink once...

Whenever a song starts.

Every time there's a Beatles reference in the dialogue.

Every time Prudence looks unhappy.

Every time you hear the word "love".

During "I've Just Seen a Face": Whenever someone falls down.

During "Come Together": Whenever JoJo crosses paths with another main character.

During "Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite": Whenever Eddie Izzard throws in a line that's not actually in the song.

During "Revolution": Whenever Jude enters or exits the room.

Chug a beer/Take a Shot...

For every cameo. (Joe Cocker, Bono, Eddie Izzard, and Salma Hayek.)

When you get to see Evan Rachel Wood's left nipple.

3:10 to Yuma Drinking Game

2008-03-05T22:17:00.000-08:00

Drink once...

Every time someone says "Pinkerton," "Yuma," or "Contention."

Every time you catch Christian Bale not limping when he should be.

Every time Russell Crowe kills someone. (At that part where he kills a lot of people in about five seconds, chug one beer or take a shot.)

Any time a female character has a line.

Any time Christian Bale asks someone for money or a finance-related favor.

Chug a beer/take a shot...

Whenever Russell Crowe starts drawing.

When one of the Wilson brothers appears.